Overexplanation of the topdiff name (yap cost 50000)

"heart plays in ways the mind can't figure out"

part 1: personal connection to the song
2024 has been a struggle for me mentally. I had recently come out as trans to my loving yet unapproving parents, and disregarding them I still felt the most vulnerable and unstable I have been my whole life. Even though I had friends to support me, it felt like none of them really understood me. I couldn't relate to any of my trans friends who knew how they felt from a young age. I was taught to bottle my feelings and be the manly figure my genetics destined me to be.
This started to change after I relistened to MMTBS. Father Time and Auntie Diaries specifically have both helped me understand how I felt, helped me feel seen, and helped me cry from feeling depressed and dysphoric for the first times in my life. Auntie Diaries specifically resonated with me, as I could relate to Mary Ann in some ways. Being closed off to hide my emotions, getting hurt and offended from simple teasing/name calling at school, and Kendrick representing my past irl best friend, who despite being so close to me, never actually understood or supported me when it came to gender or sexuality (except he turned out to be very toxic instead of growing out of his edgy phase). The bottom line is, Auntie Diaries feels so real and validating to me and my dysphoria, which in a way is euphoric.

part 2: context within the song, somewhat schizophrenic
Auntie Diaries is about Kendrick's experiences with the trans people in his family, through which he critiques bigotry in society. The first line in the song alludes to gender dysphoria, specifically where non-cis people (especially children/teens) aren't aware they're experiencing dysphoria until they're old enough to understand it. Throughout the song, Kendrick shows struggles to understand the topic and he critiques himself because of it. However, when confronting the preacher and defending his cousin before the end of the song, he finally shows growth and understanding. He genders her correctly, and critiques the church for being divisive and bigoted instead of loving and Christ-like. The song ends with showing how Kendrick shows awareness of his ignorant past, thus going from bigotry to supportive, and from gender dysphoria to euphoria.

part 3: references to Kendrick's discography, a more schizophrenic edition
Funnily enough, the most straightforward reference to Kendrick's diss track "euphoria" is the only coincidence out of everything I've written in this box. The intentional reference is to the middle tracks of DAMN, being "PRIDE." and "HUMBLE.". A concept shared between the two tracks is them effectively representing their opposites, as in HUMBLE is an obnoxious loud and prideful song, while PRIDE is very modest and downbeat. When Kendrick talks about his transgender relatives in Auntie Diaries, he largely deals with the injustices and bigotry they experience. This, along with the song being one of the calmest on the album just like PRIDE in DAMN, and along with what I've written in part 2, gives me the impression "dysphoria" is a great descriptor/summation of the song's vibe, which is why I made the diffname the opposite (just like PRIDE and HUMBLE).

Ranked just in time for pride month wow total accident
TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS

chidodou's insane
boden hs

Kataryn / jamesjan3

38th map

Auntie Diaries

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